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Ion Hazzikostas complaining about world buffs and consumables in 2006
This argument has been laid out many times, and it rears its head in threads about raid encounters, about real-money trading, about professions, about burnout, and so on and so forth. My aim here is not necessarily to break any new ground, but rather to summarize the main problems with consumables as they currently exist in WoW, and with alchemy in particular, as they relate to raid design and player enjoyment.
One-sentence summary: Consumables are too powerful, such that Blizzard's raid designers are forced into the untenable position of balancing around unbuffed groups and having their content steamrolled, or balancing around buffed groups and forcing players into a cycle of unpleasant farming in order to even have a chance.
I am going to mention world buffs only for a moment and then move on to focus solely on true consumables. The problem with world buffs is obvious. They do too much, too well, and they scale fantastically. I do not want to be farming Hakkar in order to kill Illidan a year from now. Don't nerf them at this point. Just make them zone-limited in some form -- either KalimdoEastern Kingdoms only, or stripped upon entering any raid zone.
For some easy numerical illustration, I made a set of CTProfiles profiles for my own class, since that's what I'm familiar with, comparing gear progression in full Tier 1 or equivalent (MC and 20-mans), full Tier 2 (BWL and first-half AQ), and full Tier 3 (pre-Sapp/Kel).
Here are the key values:
Tier 1 Gear: 4450hp, 6085mana, 251 spirit, 365 +healing, 58 mana/5 Tier 2 Gear: 4250hp, 6700mana, 244 spirit, 567 +healing, 73 mana/5 Tier 3 Gear: 4610hp, 6970mana, 123 spirit (lol), 1008 +healing, 109 mana/5
+healing does less for mana conservation than it once did due to downranking changes, but it still can be more or less converted into some equivalent amount of mana regen since where +healing shines is generally in maximizing healing/mana rather than healing/time. There isn't a boss out there that puts out enough damage to require max-rank spam, so whether the +healing means downranking or fewer heals cast per minute, there is a mana savings. Based on the HealPoints and itemization formulas, I'm going to say that 6 +healing = 1 mana/5 for easy approximations.
Using that conversion ratio, we're left with the following: Tier1: 119 mana/5 Tier2: 167 mana/5 Tier3: 277 mana/5
Unsurprisingly, tier 3 is a large step above the rest. That's good. Now, how do consumables fit into the picture? For a healer, let's assume the following non-exotic consumables:
Nightfin Soup = 8 mana/5 Mageblood Potion = 12 mana/5 Brilliant Mana Oil = 12 mana/5 and 25 +healing = 16 mana/5 Major Mana Potions = 1800 mana every 2 minutes = 75 mana/5 (!!) Dark/Demonic Runes = 1200 mana every 2 minutes = 50 mana/5
Assuming all of the above used, I get a net benefit of 161 mana/5.
That is larger than the gap between mixed tier 1 with suboptimal enchants (no ZG enchants, etc.) and fully-enchanted optimal tier 3 gear. So, in order to feel this amount of character progression as a healer, instead of spending 15 months doing raid progression, I should've just used five consumables. Silly, isn't it? Obviously this is something of an oversimplification, and I do really feel the benefits of the gear, because in practice I am comparing myself fully-buffed now to myself unbuffed or partially-buffed then.
I used shamans as an example due to firsthand familiarity, but any caster will do. Try comparing an unbuffed tier 3 tank to a tier 1 tank using all standard tank consumables, Titans, and drinking stoneshields. Similar result (though defense and shield block value aren't available through consumables, so not quite as precise). If anything, the classes that benefit by far the least from available buffs are physical DPS classes. Mongoose and Juju are great, but they actually are a comparatively minor buff compared to what I just listed above, or compared to a mage/warlock stacking Supreme Power + GAE + Firepower + Oil + mana regen stuff.
Does anyone dispute my basic premise that consumables are incredibly, incredibly powerful relative to the gear progression that is the mainstay of how we are supposed to improve and develop our characters once we are done with the fairly rapid leveling process?
Now, let's turn to raid design. The following visual is a crude approximation of the raid design progression we have seen thus far. As compared to a spectrum of "Raid Power" (i.e., how strong your raid is, in terms of raw stats), the various bars represent the ranges within which those zones are viable. Towards the left end of each bar, where it is brightest, the difficulty is extreme; as you move right and the bar darkens, the zone becomes easier and easier as power improves, until the pure black portions indicate trivial farm content. For the Naxxramas bar, I limit it to "numbers" fights like Patchwerk, Loatheb, Sapphiron, and so forth -- obviously fights like Razuvius, Grobbulus, Heigan, and their ilk, are quite different. http://forums.elitistjerks.com/uploaded/RaidPower.png I've plotted out the progression from blues (by which I mean pre-revamp level 60 blues, circa early 2005) to epics of various tiers. The rest should be more or less self-explanatory.
Anyway, most of the raid content in the game was balanced around a largely unbuffed raid at the time it was introduced. Even among fairly competitive guilds, buffs were not part of the raiding culture. Our first Ragnaros kill in May 2005 (one week after Ascent killed him) was more or less completely unbuffed. GFPPs for Ragnaros was the most anyone did, and things like tanks chugging Stoneshields simply weren't done. Some individual alchemists used their own buffs, but it wasn't expected. Over time, however, raiders grew more sophisticated, and various mods simplified the process, and the raiding game became more competitive at the high end. At the same time, the amount of available buffs continued to grow. We got Mageblood potions and weapon oils. We got new food buffs. We got Zanzas. And, of course, we got flasks that persisted through death. The encounter design still lagged behind this to an extent. Vek'nilash was the first boss in the game that assumed some degree of external buffing on the tank. A tank in the gear available at the time (Jan/Feb 2006) simply could not tank Vek'nilash with only standard raid buffs. His death would be inevitable. But still, if not for the untuned state of C'Thun and Ouro, I am confident that Ahn'Qiraj would have been fully cleared within one month. We saw C'Thun Phase 2 within two weeks of our gates opening, in late February. He'd have died a week later if it had been the current version.
Which brings us to Naxxramas. Naxxramas was designed to be "hardcore," and to keep us all busy from June, when it was released, until the late fall or early winter, when the expansion would be ready. In that regard, it succeeded admirably. Compared to every raid zone before it, Naxxramas was a resounding success in terms of encounter design and balance. Whereas before top guilds were accustomed to learning every boss within a few days, and assuming that if the boss still hadn't died by then, it was bugged or untuned (or a "cockblock" -- see pre-fix Ragnaros, Chromaggus, Ouro, C'Thun, etc.), in Naxx there were fights that legitimately took days or even weeks to learn and master despite high levels of skill and concerted effort.
This is partly due to very clever design, but also partly due to the fact that, for the first time, the raid designers were acknowledging that top guilds would use every tool at their disposal to win the race to Kel'Thuzad, and tuning the fights around that expectation. If you don't have flasked tanks with full buffs and a cache of Greater Stoneshields, or healers with a healthy supply of mana consumables, don't bother even looking at Patchwerk. Even on fights like Noth, Maexxna, 4H, and others, having that extra DPS from raidwide consumable use can make all the difference in the world when it comes to salvaging a kill from a less-than-flawless performance, particularly as you are still gearing up in Naxx. I don't need to talk about Loatheb, but I will note that when we tested him on the PTR, the GM/Dev who had ported us there asked me how many Greater Shadow Protection pots we had in the raid. They knew.
As a result of this, particularly in the learning process on these fights, Blizzard unwittingly created one of the worst grinds in the history of any MMO. Yes, any MMO. It's not because of the magnitude of time involved, but rather what that time gets you. In your typical Korean "grindfest" MMO like Lineage II, RF Online, MapleStory -- you name it -- there is a massive time investment required, performing repetitive activities... and yet, after two hours of grinding away in one of those games, you have something tangible to show for it. A bit more gold. Closer to a new weapon. A few more pixels on your experience bar. Something, however small, that represents forward progress. In WoW as a Naxx raider, the result of that time investment is preservation of the status quo, and replenishing what was burned through at an alarming rate in that night's raid. That is the worst part of it, and that is what burns people out and drives them away from a truly wonderful raiding endgame.
It is not the raid designers' fault. The alternative, for them, would have been to balance around few or no consumables, and then we would've seen a Kel'Thuzad killshot in July, and hundreds of guilds rampaging through the zone by brute-forcing encounters via consumable use. Would that have been better? I don't think so.
Once upon a time, the class devs gave paladins a version of Improved Lay on Hands that bestowed +50% to armor for 5 minutes. Such an ability, while reasonable in PvP where burning your full mana pool is a major issue, and where buffing one player's armor isn't necessarily a decisive factor, would have been absolutely impossible to balance around in a raid setting. After an uproar on the FoH boards, that talent was quickly toned down, and I can only assume that the raid designers had a hand in that. This situation is not quite as severe, but it is similar. The consumable system and the array of consumables available to the players, created by unwitting quest designers who want to add cool new buffs and by people who want to give alchemists something to get excited about as they look at their neighbors' 90 DPS BoP 1h weapons, is tying the hands of the raid team. That needs to change. I look at things like Super Mana Potions in conjunction with the Alchemist's Stone (take a minute to compute the mana/5 equivalency and laugh) or a new array of Flasks that give huge benefits to all classes instead of just tanks and nukers, and I fear for the future of the high-end raiding game.
Take another look at that chart up top, and the pink bar. That bar needs to shrink, a lot, or the way consumables are handled in general needs to change drastically. Either take them away or, since Blizzard doesn't like taking things away, make them more abundant and thus less taxing: Double durations on things, make them last through death, give potions multiple charges, etc., while keeping the materials requirements static.\ We can argue over the solution, but* something has to change.
\(And no, this wouldn't kill Alchemy. You can spend some time farming herbs and make a stack of Major Manas or Mageblood and it will sell, at a large markup, as a matter of certainty. There is absolutely nothing that a skinneLW or minesmith could produce with an equal time investment that would sell to any reliable degree. Alchemy's importance can be substantially reduced without creating any imbalance among the professions.)*
The source i found it from was: https://www.9lives.be/forum/games-general/458014-burning-crusade-vraag-antwoord-met-beta-testers-13.html but I know I did originaly see it on elitists jerks website via wayback machine but could not find again. Maybe if someone is a wayback machine wizard they could find the original source as it had a ton of replies and pages and made for some interesting reading.
Funny how things haven't changed that much in all these years.
I am 31 years old make $60,000, live in Boston and work as an Admin
- I am quarantining with just my partner (aka Sven aka I didn’t want to post an initial) so I mention him a lot, sorry if that’s annoying. We’re pretty boring and medical reasons prevent us for doing any other socializing (the last time we did, we got exposed to covid…so not again until there’s a vaccine!).
- I am being super vague about my job/titles. Just in case.
- Anytime we leave the house we mask up and socially distance with people. Upon reentry to a home, we wash hands, sanitize doorknobs, etc.
TW: workplace stress, talk of mental illness
Section One: Assets and Debt
Equity if you're a homeowner: Lol in my dreams
Savings account balance: $13,779 – I’m trying to build this back up to 20k like it was at the start of my unemployment. It’s been going slowly since I’m doing some covid stress shopping/eating out too much.
Checking account balance: $129.71 – I just paid my October CC bill and only keep a few hundred in my checking regularly.
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $403.99 – This is what I’ve spent in the month of November. I try to pay off my CC’s in full each month on the 1st.
Student loan debt (for what degree): $0 – I paid off over 23k after all the interest in 2017 for a degree in marketing I do not use.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I’ve been doing admin work for 7ish years but I’ve been working since I was 16 (food service, clothing stores). I’ll start my job “progression” from after college:
- 2013: Graduated without a job and without a plan. I moved home and got a job at a high-end clothing store where I made $10.50/hour
- 2014: After a short stint as a temp receptionist, I got hired as an admin for $35,000
- 2016: I moved to Boston with my then partner and got an admin job making $52,500. I stayed at this job until I was let go in fall of 2019. I ended my time there making $72,000. They would give GENEROUS bonuses and I had decent benefits…but I was yelled at, harassed, belittled, and ostracized regularly. I have a lot of scars from this job.
- 2020: After many months unemployed, I got a job as an admin making $60,000. I did not negotiate as I was told the job was going to be not time intensive and I was desperate. Turns out, this job is high stress and has a lot issues. My only benefit is a 401k with a small match.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $3,412
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: Sometimes I sell stuff on Poshmark but I haven’t been reselling much lately
Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $1200 – I split rent with 1 roommate. Our total rent is $2650.
Renters / home insurance: $25.17 a month
Retirement Savings: $20,513 – This is all in 401k’s (I have two currently, I’ll eventually roll them into one). I hope to open a roth ira next year before I submit my taxes.
Savings contribution: Whatever is leftover at the end of the month, I want as much cash on hand as I can get due to covid
Investment contribution: N/A
Debt payments: N/A – I have no debt other than my monthly CC bill
Donations: $150 – I haven’t donated much this year due to being unemployed, but this was to political causes.
Electric/Gas: varies wildly by season and if I’m home all the time or not – literally $30 combined in summer and up to $400 combined in the winter. Last winter when I was unemployed, my roommate was amazing and paid for half the utilites. I am thankful for them.
Wifi/Cable/Landline: N/A – My roommate pays for wifi/cable (approx. $50) while I pay for Gas and Electric. Once the G&E goes over $50, they pay half of that amount. Aka we each pay half.
Health Insurance: $646.45 - this is COBRA from my former employer, I will switch to a new insurance in January (tbd)
Gym membership: N/A – Recently bought a spin bike for home that I’ve been using sporadically
Car payment / insurance: N/A I do not own a car
Regular therapy: $0 – Due to covid, my current health insurance is not requiring payment for telehealth services. Typically, it’d be $100 - $125/month.
Credit Card Yearly fees: $574 (I used to churn in my early 20s and now I’m stuck with all these CC’s with yearly fees)
Patreon: $12/month (supports Willam Belli, Reality Cray Cray, and 90 Day Gays)
World of Wonder +: $3.99/month
Day 1 Saturday
9:30am – aaaand there’s the alarm. I roll over in protest but end up in the nook while Sven changes his alarm for “10 more minutes”. We stayed up way too late last night finishing The Queen’s Gambit and drinking. If you haven’t watched it yet, please do yourself a favor and enjoy the shit out of the costuming.
11am – Finally get out of bed and start on breakfast. Sven makes the eggs while I make toast and cut the cheese (har har). We both drink our day-old coffees and chit chat about what we want to do today. Last night we discussed getting keys for each other’s places so that’s on the list along with working out, place our grocery order on instacart, and getting Sven a snow shovel. It snowed yesterday here in Boston and the ice is vicious.
12:30pm – Sven gets a call from a friend so I lay around on the couch and waste time on reddit. Around 1:30, we head over to my house so I can shower and we can grab a few things.
4pm – Successfully laid around for a few hours at my house. We’re total potatoes on the weekend and it’s something we’re trying to change. Now it’s time to grab lunch/dinner and get our keys made. The keys end up being super easy to acquire so we’re in and out quickly. ($4.23) Mosey over to our favorite Korean place and pick up our order. ($35.87)
5pm – Eat dinner while watching the first episode of the new season of Mandolorian. I am thrilled to see baby Yoda on my screen. Sven has really wanted to watch Borat 2 so I make popcorn and cringe my way through it while writing my money diary.
9:30pm - Borat Update: it is very uncomfortable but Jeanise, Judith, and Dory are angels on earth. I feel a little better about the state of the world. Realize we only got like two things on our to do list done….oops. Sven starts playing COD with his friends and I bust out a square of dark chocolate – JUST KIDDING! - the rest of the kim chi pancake and work on relisting some items in my Poshmark closet and dicking around on the internet.
1:30am – COD is finally over (it’s got spoopy zombies!) and we head to bed. Brush, floss, and
Food + Drink $35.87
Home + Health: $4.23
Day 2 Sunday
9:15am – Wake up before alarm. Noooope. Roll over and go back to bed.
10:30am – Finally get out of bed and I eat some 2 day old buffalo chicken pizza and wonder why I’m experiencing issues with my stomach. We write our grocery lists and place our Instacart order. I order lots of BRAT diet foods. Usually, Sven and I meal prep the same thing but I’ve been having stomach pains, reflux, and body issues for weeks so I’ve had to watch what I’m eating (it’s not going well).
12:50pm – We pay our respective rents and then go to my house to intercept the Instacart order. Our shopper this week was amazing. I give her a big tip and we get to sanitizing our groceries. Meal prep begins! We order two week’s worth of groceries each order so we have a lot of prep to do. The Pats game is on so Sven does his chopping in the living room while I listen to Cabot Cove Confidential and Suze Orman podcasts in the kitchen while cooking rice and roasting veggies.
4:30pm – Order from a delicious Salvadoran restaurant for lunch/dinner. We’ve eaten out every day this weekend which is a bit unusual but I think we’re both a little stressed and really missing normalcy. I get so caught up in my feelings about missing my friends and being stressed about work that I miss my timer and burn my granola, fuck. The Salvadoran food upsets my stomach (shocker) but it’s so good.
8:00pm – We chat about work and SOP’s – we work in similar org structures it’s nice to bounce ideas off of each other. While I’m working up the strength to rewrite my resume and get a new job, I’m trying to get some feathers in my cap this job instead of feeling like a failure. I do some work and set up some schedule send emails (truly, the best thing since sliced bread) and practice some excel with Sven. He’s a beast at it and I think I may want to pivot to working as an analyst or something that’s spreadsheet heavy.
Food + Drink: $198.10
Day 3 Monday
7:15amish wake up before alarm and listen to Sven breathe. I am trying to think of things I’m grateful for and try to be in the moment – quiet moments like this are it. I struggle with Mondays due to my 1:1 with my boss. I never know what I'm walking into and how it will end which leads to me feeling like I have to decompress and dig deep for motivation. Walk home and make myself 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter and a coffee. Turn on Cabot Cove Confidential and live in my emails. CCC recommends another Murder, She Wrote podcast (Cabot Coverage) so I try it out…turns out to be good!
12:45pm – Make a lunch of eggs on toast. Write some money diaries out, text some friends, and tell Sven I got my holiday time off approved! We are visiting his family and we're so excited. Following all quarantine protocols, obviously.
6:00pm – Make a quick dinner of oatmeal with apples, bleh I feel sickly. Clean up my kitchen from meal prep yesterday. Pack my bags and book my zipcar for going into the office tomorrow. (41.60)
7:30pm - Get in a 30 minute bike ride while watching MSW and sending work emails. I see my best friend has posted an update about her health on Insta. I send her a congratulations DM because seriously it’s amazing what she’d done! But I had no idea she was on this type of journey and I feel saddened that she didn’t feel comfortable telling me about it. Our relationship has felt one sided for almost a year now and I don’t know how to broach it without sounding selfish.
8:00pm - Take a relaxing shower and get some skincare time in - OLO vitamin b oil, dermalogica micro foliant, herbivore lapis oil, the ordinary eye oil, and some laneige lip mask thing. Use the ordinary glycolic toner for deodorant (THANK YOU TO THE USER WHO SUGGESTED THIS!). It’s also the last day of my dermatologist required cream to clear up an issue that may be hiding skin cancer.
10:00pm - Get into bed and write up some of the day’s items for my diary. Asleep by 10:30pm.
Transportation: $ 41.60
Day 4 Tuesday
6:00am – My alarm goes off and I force myself awake and stare into my phone. I’m on an SSRI that causes issues with waking up, no matter when I go to bed. Check the news, reddit, and the status of my ballot. I voted by mail and it was accepted last week but I’m still nervous.
7:00am - Hop on the bike and turn on a Kaylee Cohen Fitness video… I hear the garbage truck outside I realize I didn’t take out the garbage, fuck. Get off bike and take out recycling so at least there’s less recycling? Finish my work out with some gentle yoga. Shower, make toast and pb with coffee for breakfast, and login to work. Listen to The Bald and the Beautiful podcast and cackle away.
10:00am - Pack up and head to the zipcar. Thank god there’s a key in the car. I’ve had so many issues with zipcar in the past few months. Make the now very quick drive into the office and meet with my new team member. We white board some tasks and plan for handoffs in the coming weeks. I don't see anyone I know while I'm at work, it feels so weird. It was nice to meet my new team member….until they sneeze on me as we’re walking out of the office. I die inside and freak out for hours.
12:30pm - Stop by a local brewery and pick up 3 four packs to drink tonight ($46). Get back from work/dropping off the zipcar and hop into the shower. Make a quick stir fry with rice, broccoli, eggs, and soy sauce. Get back into the emails.
4:00pm – Half heartedly answer emails on and off as I sneak over to Sven’s. Drop off my bags and then head to cvs where I pick up the coffee and condoms I went in for but also grab a quart of bleach and reusable cleaning gloves. (35.58) Then head over to the grocery store for more beers, Armenian string cheese, flourless chocolate cake, maple syrup. (92.70)
5:00pm - Get back and sanitize all the stuff and get comfortable. Turn on youtube and fold Sven’s laundry and do the dishes. He shows up around 6pm and is so appreciative that I did some of his chores. We eat leftovers for dinner - he has chicken wings and more chicken from last week’s meal prep and I have leftover udon soup.
10:00pm - We’re still up and I make popcorn. We bounce between Full Metal Alchemist, youtube play throughs, and the news.
2:00am - Andddd it’s 2am and we’re finally heading to bed. I lay awake and dread going to work tomorrow.
Food + Beverage: 138.70
Day 5 Wednesday
8:00am – Hello, period my worst friend. Snuggle in until 8:30am when I suggest we order breakfast and after some back and forth from where, we settle on Flour. We get egg sandwiches, iced coffees, and Sven surprises me with their “day old pastries” pack which turn out to be maple cranberry pecan muffin (SO FUCKING GOOD), a vegan apple cinnamon muffin (very good!), and a whole wheat apple walnut scone (a solid B scone, good but didn’t hold a candle to the previous two). Sven pays.
9:00am - Get to work…we have two deliverables that are due today and I have to train a new employee so they can take reigns. We can connect to go over the process and the training goes horribly. I feel awful, especially when the new employee disparages the process.
1:00pm - Time for therapy! I feel like all I’ve been doing in therapy is bitching about work. I hate that so much of my stress and self-inflicted pain stems from work issues. I finally get around to telling my therapist about a day a few weeks ago where I spiraled really badly. I feel a little better afterwards but today is just draining. After therapy, I make a lunch of rice, carrot, broccoli, furikake, rice wine vinegar, soy sauce, and tuna. I listen to Race Chaser podcast to through the day.
3:00pm – Work problems ahoy! I thought I had sent out an email to my boss but I apparently didn't. Start crying and internally beating myself up. Again, I hate how much work effects me. Sven holds me and tells me it will be okay. I fucking hope so. I work through a few more emails before signing off for the day at 5pm.
5:30pm – Dinner is the same thing as lunch because my stomach finally feels better! This is promising. We head to my house to shower and grab more clothes. Walk back to Sven’s for more full metal, election updates, diary writing, and general potatoing around 8pm.
10:30pm – Attempt to go to bed but don’t make it into bed because I’m writing my money diary. Finally get into bed at 11:30pm and lay there dreading the universe and emailing myself work items until I finally take a melatonin and pass out.
No spend day
Day 6 Thursday 11/5/20
8:00am – Period is brutal. Lay in bed until I realize I have to get shit done. Grab old coffee from the fridge and start responding to emails at 8:30.
10:00am - Head home due to a lull in emails. Take a shower and do skin care – OLO vit B oil, dermalogica’s daily microfoliant, the ordinary niaciamide, and caffeine eye cream. Brush teeth, grab a too small pair of Thinx (whoops), and get back to work after I make toast with peanut butter and have another glass of old coffee. Work through the deluge of emails I've gotten in the last few days and today.
6:45pm - Finally sit down on the couch, watch some Unhhh, and the put on an episode of Murder, She wrote before realizing I need dinner and to make granola. I put on Scam Goddess podcast and make a quick stir fry (rice, eggs, veggies, soy sauce) for dinner and get started on my baking. Toss together some granola that ends up only slightly burnt. Get a hankering for chocolate and make the rash decision to make toffee chocolate saltines. Eat way too many and feel sick. Yay me.
9:30pm – I am so tired but I get through my night time skin routine (OLO B oil, herbivore lapis oil, and the ordinary caffeine solution 5%), floss and brush my teeth. I put on a space mask and listen Gentle Whispering while falling asleep.
No spend day
Day 7 Friday 11/6
6:30am – Alarm goes off and I lay in bed reading the news. Amongst the election news, I see that system of a down is coming out with new music…oh lawd today is a good day! Hop on the bike at 7:30am and do a 20 minute ride with Kayleigh Cohen Fitness and 10 minutes of yoga after. Get to work at 8:50am and realize my Bluetooth mouse is not connecting…joy.
10:00am – Break time! I zone out and look at plants on Etsy. I’ve realized my attention span is only about 45 minutes so I’m trying to allow myself space out time and not beat myself up for not being productive enough. Get back to it after almost buying a ponytail palm.
2:30pm - My aunt texts me about plans for my mom’s birthday and I am so excited! It’s my mom’s 65th birthday so we’re hosting a zoom party for her. Yayyy!
4:50pm - Log out of work for a few hours. Time to shower, pack my bag, do my nighttime skin routine, and head to Sven’s. He buys us Mexican food for dinner and we chat. He asks what chores I'd like help with at my house tomorrow and we make a to do list together. Then we watch Fullmetal alchemist and GBBO during dinner.
9:07pm - Log back onto work computer, I procrastinated way too long today so I’ll get a few hours in while Sven plays COD with his friends. I decide to get some treats from Sephora with my 15% discount for my mom’s birthday gift. I grab a L’Occitane Almond Home & Away gift set for her and 2 L’Occitane Shea Butter Foot Creams (1 for her, 1 for me). ($102.96)
12:30am – Brush, floss, and head to bed. Unbeknownst to us, tomorrow will be a very exciting day.
Fun / Entertainment: $0
Food + Drink: $372.67
Home + Health: $39.81
Clothes + Beauty: $102.96
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
Last week was a bit abnormal with all the alcohol and presents but I do absolutely spend too much on food. I need to focus on eating healthier, which is happening now as I can’t get takeout and my doctor said I have to follow a restrictive diet to see if we can figure out what's wrong. I also really need to work on my stress responses and focusing on things other than work. I have a lot to work on and therapy helps but I need to put it into practice.
As for money, my saving hasn’t been great the past few months. I was regularly saving 1k/month before September but I’m losing steam. I am trying to find something, anything, to feel “normal”. Sadly, I don’t think the sensation is for sale. But I’m going to be kind with myself for buying plants, skincare, and hobby stuff to keep me sane during the fast approaching winter.